


8lue 8lood, 8lue Tears

by saturnineIlluminatus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:24:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnineIlluminatus/pseuds/saturnineIlluminatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If any8ody reads this l8er on,<br/>I hope you understand what I really wanted,<br/>Rather than what I did.</p><p>...I wonder, if I die, will I come 8ack?<br/>My death might 8e considered just, after all.<br/>...N-no!<br/>I don't want to die!<br/>No! Not like this!!!!!!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	8lue 8lood, 8lue Tears

It was just like any other day.  
Sitting 8y my husktop,  
In the far reaches of the lab,  
Cloaked in shadows.  
Finishing up my confession to John,  
Sitting cross-legged.

A tired sigh.  
Why did I say those things?  
I've never told anyone how I really feel.  
Not Kanaya, not Aradia, not Terezi, not Tavros.  
 _Certainly_ not Eridan.

It's just...  
Tavros...  
His face when I killed him.  
Too little, too late.  
He'd finally 8ecome what I wanted him to 8e.  
A hero.

Ha!  
Imagine that!  
That wimpy little Page of 8reath,  
Playing hero when the time to do so had long past!  
Trying to kill me!  
M8!  
No amount of prompting,  
Of kissing,  
Of manipul8ting,  
Could make him into what I wanted.

...Now that I think a8out it, he /was/ pretty 8rave.  
8ut he had no chance of 8eating me.  
I mean, I'm God Tier!  
He knew he had no chance.  
Yet he still tried.

I should feel nothing.  
He's just a lowlife mud-8looded troll.  
8ut he was a friend.

The look on his face when I killed him out of rage...  
What was it?  
8etrayal?  
Fear?  
Contentment?  
Anger?  
I'm not sure. It didn't feel good.  
8ut he's gone now.  
No redoes.  
...I don't think I've ever felt like this before.

What are these things rolling down my face?  
They feel wet.  
...Tears?  
I've never seen my own tears 8efore.  
They're 8lue.  
Just like my 8lood.  
...

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this.  
For the future?  
8AH!  
There's no future for us!  
We're doomed, doomed, doooooooomed!!!!!!!!

...I wonder if I'll get to see John in person 8efore we die.  
...

 

Someone's coming.  
If any8ody reads this l8er on,  
I hope you understand what I really wanted,  
Rather than what I did.

I waved 8ye.  
Terezi won't sta8 me.  
My luck's just that goo--  
...Ow.  
Is... is that...  
8lood?  
I looked 8ack at her,  
and she just stared 8lindly back at me.

The 8urning in my chest is 8ecoming un8earable.  
If I die, will I come 8ack?  
My death might 8e considered just, after all.  
I don't want to die!  
No! Not like this!!!!!!!!  
...

I h8 sucker-stabs.  
The pain's starting to slowly fade away.  
Is... is that a good thing?  
May8e I should reach my husktop,  
Type out my last words,  
8ut I can see the corners of my vision fading.

Is this it?  
No chance to redeem myself?  
No chance to fight Jack?  
No chance to save everyone?

No chance to meet John,  
and tell him how I really feel?

My arms are failing me...  
I can feel the 8lood soaking my outfit.  
My vision's failing me.  
Something wet's rolling down my face.  
Tears again?  
...It's a good thing I cried earlier,  
Or else I'd 8e wondering what th--


End file.
